Hello Friends, First a foremost apologies for the time lapse it has certainly went by very quick since I last posted in August 2023 . Life has had its challenges Healthwise a little long covid was making me a little tired and brought up physical issues , I have great people looking after me and with a few trips to Bristol to my familiar doctors and medical professionals things have improved greatly . I also got through a very cold and wet Irish winter . My Son started secondary school which is a big step , as I write he has completed the first year it went so super quick . He now nearing the start of his second year , I am so proud of him , transition from primary education can be hard and he was doing it away from his friends , on his own . It has been a humbling experience seeing how he settled in and made friends and is now in the grove . One very Proud father of a TENNAGER ! I am also adapting to filling my time with new challeng...
Hello Friends,
The month of April already the weather has been kind bar the
odd cold, rainy day here in the south of Ireland. We have had time outdoors reminding
us how unfit we got during the winter months well that’s a topic for another time.
I would like start by saying thank you friends for all your
kind words and comments on my last post very much appreciated.
This post will be a continuation of the initial days, weeks
following my accident on the 19th August 1991.
A very quick summary of where we are at, I was on holiday in
France with my family we were having a fun filled vacation and we were nearing
the end of our holiday. When our world got turned upside down in a moment. Myself
and my Dad has been attacked by a horse, I was emergency evacuated to Hospital and
at the end of my last post I was in intensive care in a coma and in my parents
words ‘ The nightmare had
started’ that was 19th August 1991.
I will continue from the 20th of August the
following day again these are the recollections of my people who I am grateful that
they kindly contributed to my Blog .
My parents returned to the cottage to collect some
essentials such as clothing, toiletries and to close the cottage. It had become
very clear to them that the holiday was over. The local Police arrived to
question my parents and the farmers family who had returned from their wedding celebrations,
the farmer had asked my parents to come over to their farm.
There my parents who were in turmoil over the past 24hrs my
father injured and there son fighting for life in a hospital in a foreign country
were greeted by a representative from the farmers insurance company who
presented my parents with Documents to sign. My parents had the sense not to
sign the documents.
I am now a grown man with my own child and can only imagine the
sense strength and clarity that my parents would have had to come up with in
that moment incredible. More later about the Farmer and his Horse.
My parents left the cottage and returned to Bordeaux where
they moved into the Hotel Ibis which became home for the next five weeks, at that
point in time they had become the longest staying residents of the Hotel ever.
My parents facing the reality of the past 24hrs had the dreadful
phone calls to make to the extended family with the news. After that slowly the
news of my accident percolated through my parents’ friends, my sisters and my
friends and our community.
My parents were to discover later there were Prayers for me not just in our home city of Bristol and elsewhere in England but also Germany where Mum’s parents my grandparents lived, in the Czech republic which was my Mum’s home country and also Australia, in the USA, In Canada, in Israel, in Switzerland – Prayers and thoughts of so many people formed and invisible chain that was going to protect my hold on life. My parents believe this as because rational thinking was gradually leaving my parents. In my parents despair they were ready to embrace any belief, anything at all In order to increase My tenuous hold on Life itself.
One day I want to visit all those countries that prayers and
thoughts came from with my son , a form of thank you and also to acknowledge the Bright Side
for living human power of prayers and thoughts , kindness and love .
When my parent saw me on the 21st of August, they
were greeted with a kinda Green turban on my head and there were tubes attached
to my head and arms.
I had been placed in the intensive care unit with four other
people, in the depths of silence apart from momentarily in a rhythm broken by
the Whirring of machine which life depended upon .
The intensive care unit has strict visiting hours: 1.30
-2.30pm; 6 – 6.30pm; only one person at a time. My parents had to change into
sterilised gowns and overshoes, wait patiently for their name to be called in
the waiting room that they privately called the ante-chamber to Hell. It was a
place of sorrow full of weeping and grieving relatives, my parents joined them.
My Sister was suffering, she was not allowed to visit me,
this young girl with tremendous courage and strength, my hero was considered
too young. My sister thought it was unfair and so did my parents but there was
nothing they could do to change the Rules.
The next few weeks were a helter skelter of emotions and events
for my family as they navigate the news of each day one hour at a time.
On the Day of my parents return to Bordeaux Dr Cochard informed
them I HAD 90% CHANCE OF SURVIVAL, and he was hopeful for good outcome.
My parents kept busy. My father contacted the British Consul
Paul who was very helpful in many ways. Paul put them in touch with the ex -pat
community who gathered round them providing tea and sympathy, meals, and practical
advice.
My uncle Dads Brother was coordinating from England and
gradually friends started getting touch directly. In Bordeaux my parents
discovered Betty Logan, a 58-year-old English woman who had lived in Bordeaux
for 20 years and ran a café. Betty was a
‘salt of the earth’ type, warm and lovely and made my sister laughs for which my
parents were very grateful.
Dr Cochard gave my parents a daily report by the Thursday I
had 80% chance of full recovery and although the oedema on my brain was large
and worrying, the situation was under control. My parents thought ‘we will cope’
they thought I would recover, It was just a matter of time was their belief …
in that moment …
The Bright Side for Living Mindset in action.
My parents noticed that I looked very peaceful, my suntan
was still showing but the situation was unchanged. My parents were told that I
was in a deep coma , Glasgow 5 .
The Glasgow Coma Scale (GCS) is used to objectively describe
the extent of impaired consciousness in all types of acute medical and trauma patients.
The scale assesses patients according to three aspects of responsiveness, eye
opening, motor and verbal responses. A normal GSC is 15 which indicates the
person is fully conscious.
My parents’ mood was up and down, tearful, feeling isolated
and frightened.
My Dad was in pain from his own injury and both my parents were
becoming quite exhausted from lack of sleep and anxiety.
Suddenly everything changed.
On Monday the 26th came the crisis. The swelling on my brain
(oedema)was too much - A small reminder
the Brightside I don’t recall any of this .
My parents were told that I had two days to live.
STOP!
AND TAKE A MOMENT
My parents tired , exhausted, at wits end where delivered
the news no parents wants to hear or absorb - the
strength , the courage , the determination beyond words.
My parents had lulled themselves into accepting Dr Cochard’s
prognosis that the odds were in My favour and they were quit unprepared for
this Shock. Dr Cochard had a day off and my parents were told the news brutally
and directly.
My parents asked the question no parent wants to have to ask
- ‘IS THERE ANY HOPE?’
The female doctor replied.
‘No hope – No’
My mother remembers that she was surprised that she was
still standing and that there was a floor under her feet. It seemed Odd. My Mum recalls I looked far away, with tubes
from both my nostril, skin dry and flaky, covered in a gold sheet to keep in my
body temperature.
My parents were consumed with terror, clatching onto each
other and wondering how to tell my sister. My parents resolved not to tell my
sister but the moment they saw her, she was able to tell by their faces. My
sister became hysterical, and my parents did not know what to do.
That evening my uncle told my parents that their friend Stina
was on her way to be with them. My parents’ friends Stina and Des decided that
Stina would travel immediately truly amazing friends more than friends’ family.
The following day my legend of a sister was picked up by a
lovely English local woman called Beverly who was married to a Frenchman. My
sister moved in with them for a few days before she flew back to England to our
grandparents. Beverly and her husband Alain made sure that my sister found some
mental relief from her anguish and treated us like their own relatives. Our
family have been in touch ever since and have forever remained grateful.
The bright side for living the generosity of the
people, the family, friends and strangers that became my people, my community
those that support myself and my family without question in our darkest days .
Stina arrived on the evening of the 27th August
and my parents gave her their slot to go and see Me in the hospital - those precious restricted time slots pure
gold to any relative with someone in intensive care .
Stina arrived with her long black hair and lively eyes,
dressed in a long skirt and having garden dirt behind her fingernails – looking
like a gypsy in that sterile hospital environment. Stina was a vision of love
and sanity in her unique eccentricity.
Parents in the ‘ante-chamber’ of hell were begging her to
visit their loved ones and to give them ‘light’.
Stina said that she could not as all strength was to go to me
and my parents. Stina did give them contact in Bordeaux where to turn for Help
as I mentioned before my parents the agnostic and rational couple were willing
to embrace any belief, however exotic that gave a glimmer of hope.
Image Credit :google generic
Stina sang to me and Old Japanese chant, gave all of us ‘Light’
and she told my parents that I moved my eyebrow. That same day Dr Cochard told
my parents that I got through the crisis and that I would live.
The Bright side for living my amazing friends Stina
and Des for being there throughout my darkest days and they been there to celebrate
my Brightest days too .
On the 29th August 1991 Dr Cochard smiled for the
first time in days and on the 1st September Stina left for England.
My parents, my family have never stopped being grateful for
Stina and what she has done for us, she help pull my parents and me, my sister
and extended family through the worst crisis in our lives. Wonderful, amazing
beautifully eccentric Stina Pure ‘Light’ in our lives.
The Bright side for Living
The Crisis was over, and I was going to LIVE.
By the 3rd of September I opened my eyes and I
started my long battle to come out of the coma , moving my arms and legs. I was
now on a different ward.
No longer in intensive care with the worst cases, however, I
now developed a bronchial infection with high fever.
My sister left for England on the 29th August and
on the 31st August was back in Bristol and in the care of our grandparents.
As time went on My parents have informed me that I started
to look more alive, the nurses started smiling at my parents (the power of a smile can never be
underestimates it one of the bright things in life ), I was improving everyday and by the
Friday the 6th September 1991 the fever was down .
My parents developed a calmer routine, phoned home to
Bristol every night and talked to my sister, uncle and grandparents. My Uncle
was always there, supporting all my family as much as he could in my parents’
absence and continues to support us.
My sisters friends rallied round her and she knew that my
parents would be home soon .
I continued to make a steady progress and by the 11th
September I was off the ventilator.
Phew – breathing on My Own at Last !
(after 24 days of
needing assisted machine breathing to keep me alive. grateful for the invention
of the Ventilator best kind of Design and engineering).
On the 15th September 1991 one of the most
amazing experiences happened according to my parents.
I grin at my mother for the first time when my mum sticks
her tongue out at me!
My parents were beside themselves with delight. My mother
reminded my father that he kept promising me when I was in that deep coma, he
was going to take me to many football matches. My father said that he was absolutely
serious about it.
He stuck to that promise and not only became a true Football
Dad but also became a true Football Grandpa when my son was born by ferrying
him to football training with Shire Colts when we use to live in Bristol. Dad
kept his promise despite not being the sporty type!
On the 17th of September 1991 I ate for the first-time
solids and I was moving my hand quite freely. I had more movement in my left
side, the question that remained was my right side going to be affected?
My Parents were given the Green Light to leave for Home!
To return to Bristol England.
On the 18th September 1991 my father stepped in
to the Car to drive the long journey back to England.
Image Credit :google generic
My mother returned to the hospital to wait for the St john Ambulance staff to collect me and our medical evacuation flight back home to Bristol England .
They entered the ward in early afternoon and suddenly my
mother understood what must have been like at the end of WW2 when the
liberators finally arrived.
A tall jovial Englishman followed by a cheerful nurse boomed
in a northern accent –
‘Where is our Patient
then?’
‘Hello lovely’ said the nurse to my mother.
St John Ambulance has been a favourite charity of ours ever
since then. The Doctor and the Nurse did our rescue (and so many others) in
their own free time with no pay volunteers - Pure Light
The Bright side for Living.
And in my parents words the first chapter of the terrible
nightmare was over.
There were other chapters to follow and for a long time to
come and if you stick with my rambling in this blog I will reveal more about my
life chapters over it.
A this point I need to express my deepest gratitude to my parents,
for taking the time to help me to write this post for filling in the most
difficult blanks.
To my Sister my hero for being brave for being courageous at
15 to live and travel with strangers a big ask after what you witnessed, to my
sisters friends thank you for rallying round her and holding her up .
To My Uncle for keeping the home front going and being that
critical home link.
To Stina and Des no words will ever cover the gratitude for
the Light you have brought into my life and my families . A light we try to
shine always - Thank you
And to all my people , my community - thank
you .
Always
Bright Side for Living
Till the next time , stay the ‘light’
Dan
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