Back home & world of the hospital wards,school

 

Hello Friends.

Doesn’t time fly when your distracted by living on the Bright side of life, it been a while and so much has changed in that time . The season has turned to summer , My Son has completed his final year in primary education , New adventures ahead for him and for me as his parent  . He also officially taller than his mother which I can honestly say is a relief as I was a bit worried that he inherited the leprechaun gene  !

My son is now in the age range that I had so cruelly taken from me as a full able bodied carefree youngster .  As we go on this journey it makes me appreciate the normality of the “growing/developing pains challenges we are both experiencing as he matures and becomes independent .

My parents had a dark cloud hung over them when I was at this age , one that needed courage , strength and determination to guide me through recovery and development , their worry now was my recovery , my health , my basic development . There was a small pause on ‘Normal teenage Parenting’ in respect of me   but of course they still had that with my older sister  😊 .   I cherish that I am on the normal experience with my Son  .

 

It is with a heavy heart that we also have experienced the  loss of  our pets over my absence from blogging  -  our fish which we  had transported from the uk in a ingenious suspended tank system in van succumbed to the heat wave that we experienced here in southern Ireland a few weeks back . We have not had much luck with fish to be fair  - now that is  a whole blog in it’s self  one day it will be in writing  “ the adventure of Dan the Fish Killer by his son”

We also had to say goodbye to our beloved Fur baby Felix , our sons companion since he was just over I year old . Today I am dedicating this blog to him . Some people may not understand the relevance of pets and the roles they play in peoples lives but we as a family do. Felix was a huge bright side of our family unit , we learned so much from him , it pains to write in the past tense . Also the whole experience of having Felix in my life brought back memories of our childhood family Pet Tibby . One Day I will do a Blog on the Two wonder cats Tibby and Felix  for now this grown man gives gratitude for the animals that have been on my journeys to date.   

 

Photo taken by D Crouch

Felix 2023

To much more has come to pass over the past three months but to be fair not sure you want to hear all about that living stuff right now.

Lets get back to 1991

  

 Back to the world of hospitals wards in Bristol in about November 1991 to be  precise.

I was out of the coma but very ill or just not with it you that spaced out feeling.

I recall the wards being very orderly, were good things happen but there was also upsetting moments.

Some say that you can hear people voices when you are in a coma it might be true, but I didn't hear anything as I can remember, am not saying it doesn’t happen, it may have happened in my case but  I just  remember .

 My friends did make me a tape full of songs (it’s that long ago before CDs). When you are out of a coma it  is just like a dream that you can’t get out off and it becomes a nightmare and you can’t do anything to stop it that’s my memory of coming back it a weird feeling , it felt like I was on  own apart from I  know that my  family and friends were with me , it was scary , but  I did feel very safe and happy when I could see them.

There were times when I needed something HELP  like going to the toilet at night and the Irish night nurse wouldn’t let me to leave my bed (in my head I didn’t know way she was so mean ) the reality was I had not speech neither could I use my arms hands to point. My body was still and I need to learn how to operate it again . I don’t have a lot of memory about the hospital ward at all  But I do recall the night and wanting to shout at the old Irish night nurse that I needed the loo like yesterday. Sometimes during the night in the present I do declare to my partner that I am getting up to go to the loo – she always replys  “ OK Dan but you do know you don’t need to ask permission” must because she Irish !

 I decided to be on TV as my new career now that I was restricted temporarily from Football training , so I took the opportunity in Children in Need in 1991(A UK Fundraising event held annually around November time ). I would have  been on Children in Need longer then about 5 seconds, but bloody Anneka Rice from Challenge Anneka went straight past me and talked to the next kid. Haven’t forgave yet !

 You can see me for a few seconds.

 It might been a good thing because at the time due to the accident my speech was extremely limited , well in fact at the time I could only say a rude word. It was prime time TV, before the watershed hour , So to be fair  it would not have  looked good for the BBC! More later about my short TV career.

I was released from hospital and back home around Christmas time. At this point I still didn’t know what happen to me .  I did have a vague idea the my  sport career ambitions were effected by my situation , I know unbelievable , hard to believe that  now, I was considering not to be  a footballer, tennis player, cricketer, or rugby player even ski jumper like a new Eddie the eagle was going to be a challenge with my body which now  needed to learn to coordinate it self into walking, running, kicking, batting, jumping  and talking  again.

 I was unaware of the severity of the trauma , injury I had , again I know this sounds weird but it my memory. At the time  I  didn’t know that my left side of my head had a big dent and that I had 4 bald patches at the back of my head at my age could you imagine if I did .. BALD Patches that young  !

45 the dent still there the bald patches are there but let me tell you I have more hair on my head then many men my age today also hardly any grey hair , No JUST for MEN for me Yet !

 My right eye was also effect I  lost a bit of my sight of my right eye.

One of the first things I noticed apart from my lack of ability to communicate like I use to and move like I use to was my right side of my hand was different from the left.

My left  hand /arm would hurt if I hit something or if the doctor /nurse or anyone poked at it , in contrast to my right side . Any pokeing, pinching, touch to my right arm – hand I would not feel it .The senses in my right lower arm – hand were gone . It’s the same 32 years later the only difference is that I look now before I would hit something with my right hand without knowing or putting my right hand in my food without feeling.  It has also become my party trick  !

 

I was in my own little bubble (as what now we say thanks to covid and lock downs) or on my own little world. That I can’t talk so I was getting upset. What calm me down was our cat, Tibby. Who was more than just a family cat he was like a therapy cat. He was a cat with feeling and care and knowing that something was wrong. He would be in my room sometimes before my head injury but when I was in my coma he would not going to my room. My sister would put him in my room, and he would run out. But on the day, I was going home for the first time after 4 or 5 months, my sister did the same thing. She put him on my bed like she did before but this time he stayed on my bed and started to sleep and purred.

 My first word back home was a rude 4 letters word. I think that it was the only first and last time that my mum and dad were so happy that I would say a rude word. I tried to eat but I forgot how to eat with the knife and fork, so I just used my fingers. It was very hard as I was born right-handed and now, I had to learn how to be left-handed. As also walk again and talk again. But what I was missing out was the 3^rd year (year 9) but apart all the sports and my friends and all the girls they were missing me. I missed out the best part of the 3^rd year or the whole school life, of having a very embarrassed teacher telling you about sex education! But I think each Mondays my school friends would come over and see me, for a few hours or hour. I would love those days, because I was feeling the same as other people in my school year. As I found out very quickly, I was not the same as other people. Someone who was two years older made a video (years before CDs) of the school and my year group. It was my friends playing football in the tennis courts and the song another brick in the wall from Pink Floyd- top class song. When people in my year where having sex education and started to learn how to smoke and give money to older people to buy the pack of cigarettes or how to talk to girls in the same year. At the same time, I had to go to speech therapy 2 or 3 times a week so I can say more than a four rude word if I met that Anneka Rice again! And I have to go to physical therapy so I can walk better and start to train my right hand again (I used to be right-handed). But soon I must be trained to use my left hand.

We had a big poster in the toilet door saying, ‘if at first you don’t succeed, try, try, try again’. In the 1991 and 1992, you got a choice to read a book or a magazine on the loo. I choice to look at the same poster. I got the quote in my head for years and years. When I couldn’t do something, I would remember the quote and try again and again and again. I did not succeed with everything. But I succeed more then I should be done in first few years after my head injury. All what I wanted was going back to the school and see the same friends and same class.

 

That it for now from me , I will try not to leave it as long the next time before posting . Life busy at the moment it summer .

Bright siders have a great time and always look for the Brightside for living .

 

Dan